Days You Feel Sick Reveal How Badly You Want It

Nicolas Cole
2 min readJan 19, 2021

Today, I feel sick.

Actually, I’ve felt sick all weekend. I don’t think it’s COVID, but then again, I’m not a doctor. Yesterday, I slept for 14 hours — after taking a 4-hour nap on the couch at noon. Mentally, I feel OK. Not my best, but definitely not my worst. I know what too-sick-to-function feels like, and this isn’t it.

Still, not great.

I have to write my Atomic Essay today.

I told myself I was going to write 365 Atomic Essays this year. I told the internet as well. I can’t give up now. We’re only 19 days into the new year, for crying out loud (I’m not actually crying). If I stop now, what does that say about me?

Do I give up on things that easily?

One measly little exhaustion spell and, whoosh, all my goals go flying out the window?

What would Kobe Bryant do?

These are the questions I wrestle with on days like today.

So I figured this would be a great topic to write about.

When you get sick, I believe two things happen:

First, I believe your body is trying to tell you something. I probably did this to myself. I came back after Christmas all hyped and ready to crush 2021 that I went a bit too hard in the paint (Waka Flocka style).

Second, I believe the universe is testing you. Should I rest? Of course. Should I abandon all my commitments and goals and routines at the first waft of a sniffle? Definitely not. I should be patient, but I should also do what I can. I should take it slow, but I should remain consistent. The universe is asking me, “How badly do you want it?”

I made a promise to myself that I was going to write 365 Atomic Essays this year.

And I plan on keeping that promise.

This is an Atomic Essay from the Ship 30 for 30 daily writing challenge.

Nicolas Cole

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